I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
