Porn is love you can see.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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