Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
