he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
