Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
