she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
