It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
