none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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