You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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