I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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