the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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