I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize