help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
