she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
