The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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