idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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