he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
