I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
