I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
