Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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