I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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