I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
