Whod you bang
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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