I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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