Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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