Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
