I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
