Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize