i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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