I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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