Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize