last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
