God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I love having hate sex.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
