He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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