I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
