he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
