i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
