Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
