New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
