I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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