WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
