I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm passing your future prison.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
