You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
