butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
