dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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