I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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