We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
