For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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