Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
