I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize