Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize