one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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