dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
