K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
