He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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