Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
