do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
