that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
