I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
