cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
