Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
