Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
