i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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