Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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