Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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