Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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