Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
