who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
